Negativity Eventually Turns to Positivity

Lately I've been stressed up to my wits with school, cheerleading, and social stuff. It's really putting me into this trance that is the complete opposite of my beliefs. I have been pretty negative lately as to people and myself mostly. All of this stress has made me breakout so much.. This is the worst it has been and it's been like this for atleast a month.. I'm trying not to worry about it too much since worrying about it will only make it worse. But I've caught myself crying over it a few times.. I havent even been able to wear any of my new clothes since my chest is breaking out as well. It totally sucks beyond belief. But I know things could be worse.. and thinking about that makes me feel guilty about complaining.. Which makes me stressed even more. Gah, it's like a never ending cycle of negativity and I really need to break out of it before I become the negativity. Or else it's even harder to get out.
       As for my "love life" I don't even have one. No one at school appeals to me. I dont feel the need to dress up anymore because I'm not trying to impress anyone. Sometimes I do.. and partly it's because of my breakout. But other then that, no inspiration whatsoever. And who do I blame that on? The one, the only, Abiel. No one can compare to him and it's pretty sad. If I date someone, it'll feel like I'm "downgrading." And even if I did find someone who was comparable, I would be scared to date him because then Abiel would know and I'd feel like that would be the "okay" for him to date someone too.. I mean it's not like we aren't aloud to date other people.. But I feel that I've been saving myself for him.. and I have a feeling he is for me too. And honestly, I wouldn't know what to do with myself if he started dating someone. I would get insanely jealous, no doubt. But is that aloud? I don't know. I just hope it doesnt happen soon.. Or now. We both have been so bust lately.. We havent talked for like a week and a half. It's seems like an eternity to me.
      Ha, after reading over this blog, I have concluded it has been mostly negative stuff. So, to make up for it, I will write a paragraph of positive stuff in my life and how grateful I am for all of it.
        I have lovely friends who have helped me out so much these past couple of years and they deserve everything. Thank you. I have a wonderful family who will love me no matter what I say or do and they would do anything for me, no matter what it is. I love them so much, thank you. I get a free education which will benefit me in my future, thank you. I have an amazing guy who, even though lives 3 hours away, still makes me feel like I am apart of his life and someday we will belong to eachother. Thank you. I have my own room finally, after 17 years of sharing a room. Thank you. I am attractive and have a full closet of clothes. Thank you. I normally have a positive outlook on life and I love how my mind thinks. Thank you. I have a beautiful dog who I love oh so much. Thank you. I have a relationship with God and fate that people would kill for. Thank you. I am going to end this positive paragraph with a quote I found on a tea packet I just now opened. It is very appropriate. Thank you fate. And also a picture that inspires me.

      "Never utter a wrong word, think a wrong thought, or wish a wrong wish."

                                       I love you, thank you.